Breakup Warning Signs
Breakups are tough… there’s no doubt about it. Having to watch the person you love walk out of your life forever can be an incredibly traumatic experience, especially when it seems to come without warning.
Luckily, the warning signs of an impending breakup will show up in a relationship long before your partner takes the steps to walk away. This means that, as long as you know exactly what to look for, you will be in a position to address the issues that are pushing the two of you apart before they lead to irreparable damage. Of course, if you feel that an attempt to repair your relationship would not be worth the trouble, then you can choose instead, to end it on your terms before it deteriorates further and causes unnecessary drama and aggravation for the both of you.
Now while there are many signs that point to small problems, I’m going to focus on what I consider to be the four urgent warning signs which signal that a breakup is almost inevitable. Again, if you notice any of these signs starting to appear, be aware that things may be progressing closer and closer to the “danger zone.” If this is the case, I highly recommend that you put a repair plan into action immediately in order to save your relationship.
Here are the big four (in no particular order):
Warning Sign #1: You notice that your partner has begun distancing himself from you
Any type of distancing behavior can alert you to hidden problems in your relationship. The first form of distancing, which can be referred to as “physical distancing,” is usual easy to spot.
Have you noticed that your partner seems to now have less time to spend with you, is shying away from “typical couple activities” such as dinner dates and walking the dog together, and seems to be much less affectionate both in and out of the bedroom? These are all signs of physical distancing.
“Emotional distancing” is usually tied into the physical signs, but can sometimes show up in the absence of those signs. That might be a little confusing, so let me make this a bit clearer.
Have you begun to notice any differences in the way your partner speaks to you, such as a hint of annoyance in his voice or a refusal to look you in the eyes? Do your daily conversations now seem boring and absent of interesting and exciting topics? Does he no longer open up to you like he used to about his daily concerns and plans for the future? These signs usually show up along with the physical signs, but will sometimes show up on their own. While a bit trickier to spot, they are usually stronger indicators that your connection is beginning to wane.
Warning Sign #2: You notice a drastic change in your partner’s normal routine
Building on the first sign, a major change in your partner’s usual routine can lead to more distancing behavior. Many times, there may be other factors to blame such a hectic work schedule, so don’t be too hasty to jump to conclusions. However, when someone is looking to leave their relationship, one of the first things they’ll do is try to minimize the amount of time they spend with their partners, usually by working extra hours and spending more time away from home. If you notice that this is a relativity new occurrence, then it would be a good idea to investigate further.
Something else that might be a concern is when your partner starts spending time with a new group of friends. It’s vitally important that you’re always aware of who your partner is spending time with, since our friends can be a strong influence on our decisions and behaviors.
If his new poker buddies, for instance, are frequently partaking in activities that you don’t approve of (i.e., gentlemen’s clubs, trips to Vegas, etc.) be aware that they may be subtly (or not so subtly) influencing your partner to do the same. If these men happen to all be single or have a history of cheating on their spouses, there could be even more cause for alarm.
Warning Sign #3: There is a noticeable change in the regularity of disagreements/fights in the relationship
If notice the frequency of arguments in your relationship either increasing or decreasing, this could very well be a sign of a deeper problem. When someone gets ready to leave their partner, they will usually purposely (or subconsciously) attempt to raise the level of drama in the relationship so they can help rationalize their decision to leave.
It’s much easier for people to leave a relationship after they get their partners to contribute to the fighting, since they can then walk away with less guilt than if their partners completely shied away from any serious conflict. In a way, they are trying to “gather evidence” that leaving the relationship is the right thing to do by first paving the way for additional negativity to be created. In this stage, you may find that your partner gets angry over the most insignificant things and that every seemingly innocent discussion tends to lead to an argument.
However, the flip side of this can also signal problems. Sometimes, instead of trying to escalate fights and cause drama, a person may decide to use a different strategy, such as withdrawing all their emotional investment in the relationship in order to minimize the level of discomfort they may feel when they finally walk away.
When someone takes this route, you will find that they no longer get upset over the things that used to bother them, while also attempting to avoid any and all confrontation. In addition, when this behavior seems to come out of left field, it is usually a sign of stonewalling which signals that your partner has given up trying to work things out and is most likely looking for a way out of the relationship.
Warning Sign # 4: You find that your bedroom activities have slowed to a halt
I find that sex is one of the most powerful ways there is to connect with another human being, and believe that it should be given a very high priority in a relationship. When your sexual bond isn’t nurtured, it usually leads to problems later on down the line.
It’s quite normal for the frequency of sex in a relationship to fluctuate based on a number of different factors (pregnancy, work related stress, etc.), but if lately you’re discovering that your partner rarely attempts to initiate sex, it’s usually a red flag that something is seriously wrong. This is yet another form of emotional distancing that usually precludes a breakup.
You’re in an even worse spot when you partner turns his back on all your attempts to initiates sex, as well. In you’ve found this to be the case, then your relationship could be in serious jeopardy. But the good news is, it’s almost never too late to correct whatever problems are driving that wedge between the two of you, so instead of letting this scare you, be sure to be proactive and address this immediately.
So now that you’re clear on the four urgent breakup warning signs, please keep your eyes peeled for them and be ready to take action if they ever happen to pop up in your relationship. By addressing them quickly, you will have a very good chance of stopping your breakup in its tracks. I wish you the best of luck.
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