Relationship Advice For Women – Curb Your Clingy Tendencies
Clingy, controlling and obsessive behaviors are responsible for the deaths of many long term relationships. Unfortunately, many of us have trouble understanding why attaching ourselves to someone’s hip quickly destroys the chemistry that we worked so hard to create.
Anything we capture and trap inside a glass box, ends up dying shortly after, especially when it’s the affection of someone we care for. So if your needy ways have been frightening the guys away, then it might be helpful to treat your next relationship like a nice glass of red wine: give it some space to breathe so it can warm up and start to come to life.
In the meantime, here are five quick relationship tips to help you curb your clinginess once and for all:
Monitor Your Behaviors
If you have an inclination towards needy behavior, then start paying attention to how many times a day you call, text and push for dates with the guy you’re dating, as well as how quickly you call him back when he leaves you a message. If you rarely give the men in your life enough space to pursue you, then start focusing on pulling back a bit and limiting your availability.
Be Sure to Have a Life
It’s difficult to be clingy when you have a fun, interesting life. If you sit home every night waiting for a guy to call, you’re setting yourself up for disaster. Make sure to add some fun activities to your daily routine and keep yourself busy, since busy people are perceived as being more attractive than those who have nothing going on.
Make Them Wonder Occasionally if You’re Into Them
Think about the last guy you dated who you weren’t that into. He probably pursued you a good deal since you didn’t text or call him often and you certainty weren’t sitting around waiting for him to call. Since this attitude allowed you to let things progress naturally (and prevented you from appearing overeager), it’s a good idea to act this way with someone that you do like, as it will encourage them to pursue you while making you appear as attractive as possible.
Watch Your Thought Patterns
One of the things that perpetuates needy behavior is the habit of constantly obsessing about the person you like. If you’ve done this in the past, then start becoming aware of how often you find yourself thinking about your current love interest. If it seems to be a bit excessive, then make it a habit to catch yourself each time they pop into your mind and quickly change your focus to something else.
Work on Yourself
One of the biggest culprits of neediness is an inner emptiness coupled with the false notion that someone else can fill it. Believe it or not, if you don’t have the ability to be happy by yourself, then it will be almost impossible to be truly happy in a relationship. A poor sense of self is usually at the root of this kind of thinking so I suggest that you find a competent coach or therapist and work on healing your emotional wounds. Taking the time to work on yourself is some of the best relationship advice for women I could offer.
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