Q&A: Stepping Back Into The Dating World
Q- I ended a 4yr relationship almost a year ago. I’m definitely ready to start dating again, but I don’t even know where to begin. I meet plenty of guys, but I get nervous just thinking about going on a date. I feel like it’s been so long, I wouldn’t even know what to say! Any hints or plan of action? -Ready or Not
A: So you’re stepping back into the dating world after a long hiatus and you’re buggin hard. First off, RELAX! You’re in good hands. I commend you for getting back into the game and we’re gonna make sure it all goes smoothly.
The first step is realizing you have it easy. Remember… you’re a woman! All you have to do is show up and the burden is on the man to impress YOU! Trust me… your dates will be ten times more nervous than you are, so just focus on having FUN and everything will fall into place. And if you do get stuck, laugh about it. Say, “You know, I really have no idea what to say right now. According to Cosmo, it would be a good time to discuss your Super Bowl pick.”
Here’s another tip… erase the word “date” from your vocabulary. You’re simply hanging out with different guys to find out whether or not you enjoy their company. By staying away from the traditional dating mindset/protocol (dinner, movie, interview-style questions, etc.) you’ll greatly alleviate any pressure you might be feeling. The next time a guy asks you out, suggest that you “hang out” somewhere you feel totally comfortable and preferably, where you can shine.
Are you a killer tennis player? Ask him to meet you on the courts. Feel at home in an art gallery? Get together at a local group exhibition and impress him with your knowledge of the artists in your area. By placing yourself in situations you feel comfortable in, you’ll ease your anxiety while having a chance to showcase your skills. Once you feel more comfortable with each other, you’ll then be ready to explore other venues without any awkwardness holding you back.
Again, trying to track down your Mr. Big is FUN so slide into your LBD, get your butt out there and go make it happen. And to avoid future headaches, just remember to say NO when Vanity Fair asks to cover your wedding. 
-Jay Cataldo
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