Q&A: Boyfriend Wants To Take A Break
Q: My boyfriend of nearly two years told me this summer that he wanted to take a break. He said he didn’t know who he was anymore and wanted to date around, to make sure I was the one. If I’m not mistaken, if I was the one, he’d know it and not have to date (or sleep) around, right?
A: I’m sorry to hear that. 9 times out of 10, “I don’t know who I am anymore” means “I need to go bang some more girls because you’re not doing it for me lately.” Of course, maybe he’s feeling overwhelmed and just needs some space, but usually, this happens when another girl comes into the picture. Of course, he’s not going to come right out and tell you this because why burn bridges? He might have to run back to you after his new fling fizzles out and it makes the situation much easier if you’re waiting around for his phonecall. He’s already made a mistake by telling you he wants to date around, so either he’s just sloppy or he really doesn’t care about your reaction either way. Not good.
So the way I see it, you have four options here. Let’s take a look at each one:
Option #1: Flip the f%&k out and burn all his stuff
While it may make you feel better temporarily, it permanently brands you as “that crazy girl” and you don’t need that. On the flip side, it’s a good opportunity to seduce the fireman who rescues you from your flaming apartment.
Option #2: Beg him to reconsider
This one is super needy and rarely works anyway. Plus, do you really want to be with someone who only stays with you out of guilt?
Option #3: Get back at him by sleeping with someone (maybe even his best friend)
Underhanded, devious and just flat out evil… but it almost always has an effect. While some guys will run back to you after they find out you’re shtooping someone new, it’s usually just a temporary fix and chances are, your man will never let you live it down… especially after he walks in on you and his little brother getting down and dirty in the basement. Bad girl.
Option #4: Use My Secret “Get Him Back” Strategy
This strategy gives you the best chance of winning him back while keeping you in the power position (and retaining your dignity). Calmly say to him, “Wow. I’m really shocked that you feel that way but I totally understand. If you’re not sure you want to be with me, then you need to go do your thing. There’s no point in trying to make the relationship work if I’m not the girl you want.”
Then, you should immediately distance yourself from him and avoid all his attempts at contact, i.e., don’t accept his phonecalls, texts, Facebook messages, etc. In about two weeks (3 tops) he will break down, show up on your doorstep and start begging for forgiveness (unless he’s already moved on emotionally). To make this one work, you really need to stick to your guns and avoid any contact for at least 2 weeks, no matter what.
And while I recommend against taking him back (you should move on and find a guy who truly wants to be with you), if you decide to go this route, then you’ll need to address all the relationship issues that made him want to leave in the first place. This could end up being a full time job so you might wanna just stick with the fireman. 
-Jay Cataldo
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